I think I just nursed my little one for the final time.  

He's my third baby, our last. 

Lately, it would appear that we are both ready for our nursing relationship to draw to a close, but that doesn't make it any easier on this mama.  

Tonight, we did our usual story time, nursing, singing, rocking routine, and I lingered there with him knowing this was likely the final time we would be experiencing this, just the two of us.  This weekend he's going on an adventure with his daddy and brothers, and when he comes back, I don't know if he will ask again. There were two nights this week (including his second birthday) that he just sat contentedly in my lap while we sang our songs and rocked.  

The mother-nursling relationship is so unique in that it provides a beautiful, nourishing place that only mom and baby get to experience together.  That awesome "love hormone" oxytocin is released when baby feeds, and it has amazing benefits to both mom and baby. No one else in the family can share this as it's perfectly created for just them.  It's such a special, intimate time as mother and baby bond from the very beginning.  As baby grows, mom's body continues to provide absolutely everything - from beginning to end - that baby needs.   It's such a miracle.

This time around, I knew that babies do eventually wean, and so I was in no hurry to rush it.  I had no problem nursing him for two years.  I used to think it was strange to nurse that long, as many physicians are eager to start babies on cow's milk once they turn a year.  But I read an article several months ago that reminded me that we are the only species that is encouraged to drink another animal's milk at the age of one.  It didn't make sense to me, and so I did what felt right for me and for him.  I kept going, knowing that what my body was producing for him was perfect.

What a gift.  

I know breastfeeding is a very personal decision and that not everyone chooses to do it.  This is definitely not an advertisement for or against it.  

I just wanted to share what it has meant to me.

Tonight, I was in no hurry to rush him, and it was like he knew...because he wasn't in any hurry to finish either.

And in the dim light, in the quiet, with tears streaming down my face, I saw his little hands trying to form the number "two" since he is, after all, two.  

I held my fingers up to show him how to do it again, and then I helped him form his little fingers into a two.   He giggled and smiled and suddenly popped off my breast and excitedly exclaimed "TWO!" 

Yep, baby boy.  You're two.  Lots of new adventures await us.  

And I'm so glad I get to share them with you. 

Thanks for reading.

~Happi

My toddler turns two on Wednesday. Two!

Fourteen and a half years ago I gave birth for the first time and then did it again four and a half years later with my second-born. Life was moving along at the usual pace of a busy family of four, and then I turned forty.

And I found out I was pregnant.

After the initial shock wore off, we were delighted to be entering the world of babies again. Despite all the information and research out there that supports older moms having more potential prenatal/postnatal issues, I am grateful to say that I did not experience these in any capacity. In fact, of my three pregnancies, labors, deliveries, and postpartum periods, baby number three was by far my easiest.

As I approach my "baby's" second birthday, I've been reflecting a lot on how it's different being a mom at 42 than it was when I was 28.

Here's what I've learned and what I wish I could go back to tell my 28 year-old "new mom" self.

1. The baby phase is so fleeting.
Time pauses for no one, and a baby that stays tiny is no exception. So rock that baby a little longer, worry less about the pressing chores, and inhale that sweet baby smell just a little longer. Repeat.

2. This too shall pass.
My wise grandmother said this to my mom who has often said it to me. (I'm sure I'm not the only one who has heard these words!) "I know it's hard, honey, but this too shall pass." When the sleepless nights seem as if they'll never end, when the tantrums seem more frequent than you'd like, when you're pretty convinced your teenager will still be wearing diapers because they insist on using them instead of the toilet, when your pre-adolescent rolls their eyes at you and then hugs you lovingly two minutes later, this too shall pass. When you're downright convinced you are completely screwing up this parenting thing and are thinking that they'll likely turn into juvenile delinquents, just remember these wise words: THIS. TOO. SHALL. PASS.

3. Enjoy the little moments along the way.
They are only little once, so take time to go exploring, sit on the floor and build blocks with them, go to the petting zoo and see the animals, read lots of great books with them, and live in the moments of life with them. Seeing their wide-eyed wonder at discovering this world has meant so much more to me this time around than it did fourteen years ago. I feel like I spent those early years just trying to survive!

4. And finally...don't sweat the small stuff.
Now that I am the mom of a teen, a tween, and a toddler, I am learning to let go of the things that I cannot control. {True confession: I am a MAJOR work in progress where this area is concerned, as I have notoriously been a control freak.} I have learned that it's a terribly unhealthy way to live and I'm not doing my family any favors either. The biggest life lesson that I feel I am learning now is that I have focused WAY too much on things that have no eternal significance. In the day to day, the little stuff (that often seems SO BIG) is truly so petty when I stop long enough to consider the bigger picture. Relationships matter. Listening matters. Kids matter.

If you're a new mom, an expectant mom, or a seasoned mom, I encourage you to soak up all the moments today.

Life is so fleeting, and the time so short. That little hand will not always be safely held in yours.

Many moms are experiencing their not-so-little ones flying the nest at this time of the year. With tears in their eyes, they might look longingly at your baby or wee one and say something like this:

"Enjoy them while they're little. One day, they'll be gone!"

As always, thanks for reading!

~Happi